Today I am going for a spa weekend. Girly fun right! Well not for me. I'm dreading it.
It all came about when my partner and his mate decided to buy tickets to a premiership football game. His mates wife thought it would be nice to also book a hotel with spa for me and her to have a girly day while they were watching the match. I agreed. But as the day has got closer my anxiety has risen.
I haven't been in a swimming costume for over 2 years and I discovered recently that since this time last year I have put on 2 stone in weight. I have never liked showing off my (definitely not bikini) body and I put off going swimming for that reason.
I got out my old swimming costume last weekend to try it on. I looked in the mirror and I wanted to cry. It is a swimming costume that I love. Very vintage inspired, navy blue with white dots and a crossover bust, and it was very flattering when I wore it on holiday 2 years ago. When apparently I was a size 14. Now though I am stuck with wearing it.
I ordered a new one in a bigger size with a similar style but a different design. It arrived yesterday and I though my problems were solved. But no. It looked even worse than my original. The design, blue torso with a blue and white striped crossover bust, was not flattering. And because I have a narrow rib cage but a large cup size I was not being supported by the built in 'support'. So I am back to square one.
I am going to have to brave it in my original swimming costume and hope they provide robes or proper bath towels that I can wrap around me, in the hope that I won't have to show my body too much.
Another reason to keep going with Slim Fast. Hopefully I can stick to the plan this weekend...